This Spokeless Bike Looks Futuristic, But It's Totally Real and Incredible

"Holy shit." That's the first thing I said when I saw this bicycle. "Sorry," was the next thing I said to my coworkers for cursing out loud. But it doesn't change the original sentiment.

Now up on Kickstarter, the Cyclotron Bike dubs itself as "The Future of Cycling." Based on its Tron-like appearance, that sounds plausible. But this thing's about more than just looks. In case you haven't noticed, it distinctly lacks spokes -- making it unlike any other bike you've ever ridden. More importantly, this is a real prototype -- not just a bike-in-the-sky concept.

As the Kickstarter page for the project details, this is the first commercially available bicycle with spokeless wheels. Aside from that major selling point, though, the bike features loads of other innovative technologies, including:

Rather than listing every feature, let this image most of the talking.

And if you're worried about riding this high-tech beast at night, never fear: the Cyclotron features a bevvy of LED enhancements that announce you're not just riding any old 10-speed Huffy. An automatic sensor triggers the lights inside the wheel wells, along with these crazy red lasers that lets the world know your bike is sentient. OK, that last part is made up. But is useful and cool looking!

Plus, the self-charging battery can last up to 8 hours. And 8 hours is a long time to ride a bike.

But wait! There's more! Because this article is bordering on a Ronco™ commercial, you should know about the place to put your beers waters. NOT that you should drink and ride a bike. You shouldn't! But you probably wanna haul stuff. You can totally do that with the Polygon Baskets.

Supposedly, these two baskets (one in the front and one in the back) can hold up to 24 bottles of beer water with a little room leftover. The baskets even collapse (on purpose), so you can stay aerodynamic when you're done lugging around beers waters.

And if you're more interested in hauling around kids instead of bottles of beer water, there's even a custom-made side car called The Wingman that can carry one or two children. That's just crazy!

Who has two children?

There's a bunch of other interesting tech aspects to the bike, including app and smartphone integration and how the gears work. But for the laypeople, it's cool to know the bike comes in small, medium, and large sizes, in three different gear layouts (12- and 18-speed manuals, 18-speed E-gear), and none of them weigh over 26.1 pounds.

Plus, there're these fancy decals that let you customize. And what is a bike, if not an extension of your personality and a two-wheeled way of shouting, "I don't need a car! Or spokes! I've got bipedal locomotion and the will to be different!"

This may also get you off the road and into a sanitarium, but whatevs.

The Cyclotron Bike has already met its Kickstarter goal of $56,288, sitting at $88,977 as of this article's publishing.

To get your butt on one, you'll need to pledge a minimum of $1,012 for the 12-speed manual Cyclotron -- though that option's sold out, so you'll have to jump to the $1,125 package -- or $1,462 for the 18-speed manual. The 18-speed electronic gearbox version will set you back $2,588 -- a pretty penny for a bike. Actually, that's 258,800 pennies. It's just an idiom, OK?

Bikes are expected to be delivered in June 2017 -- with the Kickstarter closing July 23, 2016. But man, it'll look like you just rode your bike back from the year 2117 next June when you're cruising around on one of these things -- hell, this might even be how Tron starts in real life.