I have two burning questions about Soshee, a new Kickstarter project from a real estate mogul who’s best known for hiding cash and tweeting about it. One: do people really want to spend $149 (or more) on a tiny mechanical dog that responds to social media interactions? And two: will someone please wash those prototypes, or at least give them a trim?

The Soshee Kickstarter page boasts that the toy dogs were designed by John Nolan Studio, which has done animatronics work for blockbuster movies like the Harry Potter franchise. Maybe that’s the misstep here — if anything, the Soshee robot dogs look too lifelike.

But I really take umbrage at this GIF:

Me. You. Anyone and everyone? I know crowdfunding campaigns are known for outlandish claims but this one is really up there. Real dogs are definitely better!

My dog, Moose — who is six years old today so please wish her happy birthday! — is better than the Soshee dogs in many ways. She is cleaner, and she also has no understanding of Facebook or Twitter or Instagram, which is something I value in a dog. Because let’s be honest, if Moose was aware of social media, she would probably be a little freaked out at the frequency with which I post about her.

I’ll take a dog with no understanding of Facebook notifications over one that reacts to them every time. Plus, that way there’s no Bluetooth-syncing headaches.